February

Day Eighteen

Untitled, Feb 1st, 2017

“Am I in the picture? Am I getting in or out of it? I could be a ghost, an animal or a dead body, not just this girl standing on the corner…?”

-Francesca Woodman

Day Nineteen

Distant Suns, Feb 2nd, 2017

“When we contemplate the whole globe as one great dewdrop, striped and dotted with continents and islands, flying through space with other stars all singing and shining together as one, the whole universe appears as an infinite storm of beauty.”

-John Muir

Day Twenty

Note, Feb 3rd, 2017

"U passed out, didn't want to wake u. I went to bed. -Nite Alex"

I woke up on a bean bag chair, which I had previously owned. With this on the floor next to me. Thank you, Alex, for the note and for the photo opportunity.

Day Twenty One

Manor, Feb 4th, 2017

While I was taking these photographs, I was just waiting for someone to poke their head out from behind a window.

"The process of delving into the black abyss is to me the keenest form of fascination."

- H. P. Lovecraft

Day Twenty Two

Confused, Feb 5th, 2017

Before today I had never been to an abandoned home; where I found so much cool shit yet no graffiti. The secrets safe.

Day Twenty Three

Untitled, Feb 6th, 2017

My head is pounding. My world is dizzy constantly moving. I am pissed about nothing in particular. I refuse to write.

Day Twenty Four

Frail, Feb 7th, 2017

"I love to watch the movement of light on water, and I love to play in rivers and lakes, swimming or canoeing. I am fascinated by people who work with water - fishermen, boatmen - and by a way of life that is dominated by water."

-Berlie Doherty

Day Twenty Five

Two Hundred & Five, Feb 8th, 2017

I don't understand why I have never seen anyone live here. It is a beautiful wooden house on the shore, looking towards the harbor. Directly across the street from the bars Unless it is a drug den. Which is very possible.

Day Twenty Six

Blizzard, Feb 9th, 2017

I feel like I've gotten the crap beat out of me. My shoulders are sore. My back and legs are stiff.

Today there was a severe blizzard in the Northeast and we were dumped on in Bristol. This morning I walked into town as the snow was starting to fall. I went to the local coffee shop. At the time it was white out conditions. I could about a quarter of a mile. There was a half inch of snow on the ground. I stayed at the coffee shop for about 40 minutes. When I left there was, 3 inches of snow on the ground, and I could only see 20 feet. The storm got bad very fast.

It is hard to tell how much snow there is, as there are a lot of drifts. But it looks like there is over one foot of snow. Possible somewhere between a foot and a foot and a half. I need a hot shower to loosen my joints and a nice cup of soup.

Day Twenty Seven

Brother Zack & Sister Helen, Feb 10th, 2017

This was an excellent show. I greatly enjoyed their bluegrass rendition. When I listen to their beautiful melodies, I am transfixed. Wrapped in the music. Like water flowing and lapping on a rocky shore. If you enjoy folk and bluegrass as much as I do, you will love this band. I recommend, "Whiskey & Water". If you find yourself in my car ask me to play this band. I bought a CD.

Day Twenty Eight

Tangled, Feb 11th, 2017

Emotions are strange and confusing. Tonight I felt alone, hollow. Alone in a crowd. A tangling mess of uncertainty. Thoughts and ideas which don't make perfect sense. Lies you keep telling yourself and others. Drunken decisions and stupidity. An embarrassing mess of words.

Day Twenty Nine

Hope, Feb 12th, 2017

I experimented with makeup today to try and accentuate the shadows around my eyes, and to form more notable veins. I want to get back into creating characters and into creating my own world. I have always enjoyed creating fantastical worlds. To blend reality and fantasy. I feel photography is my bridge to get there.

An unknown man stares at a strange lamp

The man has no name. But he used to. People used to know him; but no more. The last person who cared is long gone. He made sure of that.

The man has been consumed by his darkness. Fear, depression, anxiety control his life now. Under their control he has dug himself into a hole so deep, he can no longer see the blue above. Burning every rope and ladder to help him ascend the abyss.

But. Even in the darkness, he can find a light.

Day Thirty

Net, Feb 13th, 2017

I always find that I am drawn to the sea. The crashing waves and cold spray. I feel awakened when the sea's breath smacks me in the face. Rejuvenated. Calm. Like everything is right in the world. The sea is my home. It is in my blood. Who I am. Who I will become.

Day Thirty One

Hanging Hearts, Feb 14th, 2017

I sit here thinking of you. I see you guiding me through a corn field. I don't know where we are going, but I am happy. The crisp wind glides through the brown corn stalks. Everything is moving. The world is turbulent yet soothing. This is exactly where I want to be. Yet, I don't know your name. I don't know your face.

We haven't met yet.

Day Thirty Two

Closed Eyes, Feb 15th, 2017

I am being weird and bubbly today. I not sure what my plan was but I like what came out of it. Whatever that may be. Understandably I don't know what to write; so I will end today's blurb with a quote that may or may not have anything to do with the photo. Enjoy. "I can't go back to yesterday because I was a different person then."

-Lewis Carroll

Day Thirty Three

Peek, Feb 16th, 2017

Today, I woke up on a dusty wooden floor. My head was pounding. I am not sure what happened last night. When I sat up, the floor creaked and moaned under my weight. I quickly stood up fearing a collapse. My knees were stiff as they bent. I took a moment to look around. I was inside an animal pen in a stable. Luckily the pen's door was unlocked. The stable was old and deteriorating. The roof had collapsed in spots due to water damage. I am not sure why I woke up here. I wasn't drinking last night. Or, at least I had only two beers. I went to bed, in my bed. Did I sleepwalk? I was fully dressed. Wearing jeans, a sweater, and shoes. I went to sleep in my boxers and a t-shirt. And why was there no graffiti? Normally when I find myself in an abandoned building, it is covered. That was the last thing I remember thinking. Something struck me on the back of my head. Then I woke up in my bed. In my boxers and a t-shirt. A thought was in my mind as my eyes were opening. I am not ready yet. What the hell is that supposed to mean? Weird dream.

Day Thirty Four

Untitled, Feb 17th, 2017

Some days it is difficult to concentrate therefore write. Today is one of those days. This is a difficult project to keep up with. I am running out of ideas.

Day Thirty Five

Carving, Feb 18th, 2017

A friend of mine and I; found these words, names, and date carved into eroded glacial rocks along the ocean shore. From what we could find three were dated in the 1800's. 1858 seen in the photograph above. What was strange is that some of the names were backward/ reversed letters. Similar to mirror lettering. I hope to go back soon with some paper and a pencil, maybe some charcoal. In order to etch what was written, to better understand it.

Day Thirty Six

Hideaway, Feb 19th, 2017

Today was a surprisingly warm day throughout the Northeast. Hitting the low 60's in parts of Rhode Island. With this in mind, I went on a hike in the local forest. Like many other people fighting off cabin fever. The trail cut through these small trees forming a tunnel effect. It made think of a path to another world. I would come around its corner, into a fantasy. This forest and all forests, have always captivated me. There is something beautiful and mysterious about these locations. The forest speaks. Calling to me through the gusts. Creaking through its branches.

Day Thirty Seven

Greywood, Feb 20th, 2017

I watched a movie last night, which screamed my aesthetic. "Girl Asleep". It is a beautiful movie. The aesthetic promoted primary colors and pastels on a black background. Creatures and beings which spoke to theater costumes. Plaster masks, face paint, cheap and beautiful costumes, helmets. Incredible. While I watched, I was losing my shit. In my art/ photography, I want to speak like this. How it spoke to me. A dream state through reality. I want this reality.

Day Thirty Eight

Fervor, Feb 21st, 2017

I sit here at my computer, exhausted. My legs are stiff and painful. But I am perfectly happy. Everything is going surprisingly well. I hope everyone is enjoying my photography and this project. If not, that is fine. I am happy with my photography and I am happy with how this project is going. Have a lovely rest of your day.

Day Thirty Nine

Worn, Feb 22nd, 2017

I left my friend Alex's house a little after 9 pm. While I was heading home, I was driving towards an intersection. There was a car in front of me heading the same direction. Our light was green and had been for about a minute. Both my car and the one in front of me were going about 30mph. I was concerned I wasn't going to make the light. The leading car is in the middle of the intersection while I am entering. Suddenly a car coming from the connecting road on the left side. Speeds through their red light slamming into the car in front of me and tossing it aside into a telephone pole. I threw on my hazard lights and ran towards the accident. A man in a convenience store at the intersection came out and I shouted for him to call the police. Inside the car which was him was a couple in the 60s. Their airbags had gone off and their doors were pushed in so I couldn't open them. I could see them through the windshield and I was able to speak to them to see if they were alright. They told me they were, just freaked out. A police officer happened to be coming down the road, from where we were heading. By this point, my adrenaline was coming down. It shook me up a bit. I am proud that I did, exactly what I needed to do.

I was fine. I forgot to add that the car which had sped through the red light, was driven by a high schooler. The kid should have been paying attention. I am sure this will freak him out for a little while.

Day Forty

Home, Feb 23rd, 2017

So, last night I witnessed a bad two car accident. I wrote about it in yesterday's blurb. Tonight out of the blue I received a call. I didn't recognize the number, so I ignored it. I received this voicemail. "Hi Brendan this is Gail, my husband and I were the ones who were in that accident last night, and I just wanted to really thank you for staying and giving your report to the policeman. We really appreciate that. I know you had some place to go, and you stayed and wrote out a thing for us, and we really really appreciate your taking the time. We're both doing good, we saw the doctor today. We're fine. Saw the car and its a mess, haha. Totaled. Thank you so much for what you did and um I appreciate your being a good samaritan. Alright, take care. Bye bye." I am touched.

Day Forty One

Untitled, Feb 24th, 2017

I am tired today, I had work and tried to enjoy the unnaturally warm weather. Mid 60's today. I have a bit of a headache and I don't really feel like writing. The photo for today is pretty straight forward. I don't want to discuss it because I fear it may lose its humor and lightness. Have a lovely day.

Day Forty Two

Aura, Feb 25th, 2017

"The curtains rippled as the wind whistled through the cracks of the window. Creating a flow and ripple normally unseen."

Day Forty Three

Thoughts, Feb 26th, 2017

"Sitting quietly in a busy place. Freezing rain, outside my space."

Day Forty Four

Story, Feb 27th, 2017

I've been thinking about making a short movie. It has been a while since my last movie, but I have always had the passion. I want to be behind the camera telling a story.

This morning while still in bed I wrote up a brief story on my phone. Later drawing up a storyboard. It is a throwback to a story I was working on long ago, Greywood. Which itself became muddled. This movie would have the same basis of beginning and end of Greywood. Without the scale of my previous story. More doable for me to create visually. I am curious and excited to see what story this will tell compared to the original idea.

Day Forty Five

Nephews Feb 28th, 2017

I am not really one for having photos of my family in my home. At least physically printed. I have only three printed family photos. All three were taken by me. One of my Grandpa Maddock at his last Thanksgiving. Which is not seen in this photograph. Then the two of my nephew's Eoin and Finn Fergus. I love and miss them so much. I hope to see them soon.